i missed it

this post makes me sad...

it was the first of her firsts that i missed.

i was there when she first crawled and took her first step

i watched her take her first bottle and go on her first trip to the zoo

i witnessed her first haircut and shared her first camping experience

i helped her zip her coat and write her name for the first time

but her first time fishing....well, i missed it

with the addition of baby number three to our house, i'm having to let go a little...

realizing that i can't be everywhere all the time...

understanding that it is better to have one parent totally present at activities like these than two who are scattered

so, i entrusted J with the camera and made him promise to take lots of pictures

and i stayed at home with the littles while he took Peach and her bucket o' worms out to the dock

they caught three fish and J reported that she was so happy to be fishing, she didn't even want to come home to go potty - just promised that she'd keep holding it until they got one more fish :)

he said that she hugged the fish and wanted so badly to bring them home as pets

but, he convinced her that they'd be happier in the lake (thank goodness!  like i need a pet fish right now!)

the whole while they were gone, i was feeling sorry for myself that i was missing such fun

and feeling sorry for her that once again, she has to share me...and my time and my energy

but i kept telling myself that i'll need to get used to it.
this is just the beginning of j heading one direction and me going elsewhere as we chase these kids in sports and activities throughout their time with us

and that's a good thing...being able to tag-team this parenting gig

she came home bubbling over with stories of their time spent fishing.
and maybe that is part of the gift of letting go...

the comical re-telling of a 4-year old's experience is always worth a laugh

at the end of the day, as we tucked each of them into bed, i was thinking of the sacrifices we are all making right now:

sleep

time

patience

free time

energy

lap space

(just to name a few)

but as i listened to her and Tulip giggling and talking until they drifted off, i decided that you just can't argue with the gift of a sibling

i hope that when its all said and done, she'll be glad that we gave her these friends to share our home with

even if that means sharing me with them.