something's missing

Hubby is gone tonight.  He's at a conference for school.  Left early this morning and won't be back until tomorrow night.  Its nights like these that really make me appreciate him.

The girls were troopers and we had no major incidences (thank you, Lord!) but even though they were pretty angelic today, it still feels like something's missing.

I don't often stop to think about all that he does for me...for us.

This morning I planned to get up an hour earlier than usual.  I also planned to get the girls up a half hour earlier than usual, thinking that everything would take twice as long as it usually does....

I still ended up ten minutes late to work....

...because everything took twice as long as I planned it would.

It wasn't that anything went wrong...it was just that he wasn't here.  It is amazing what one extra set of hands can help accomplish.

When I picked the girls up, I had so many thoughts swimming through my head (get home, feed the dog, throw the diapers in the wash, play, supper, baths, bedtime, day care bag for tomorrow...) that I left the day care bag sitting in the street.  Didn't realize it until we got home and I had already gotten Peach out of the carseat.  Luckily, Tulip was still in hers, so I strapped Peach back in and back to day care we went...thank goodness the bag was still intact!

We had a fun night, just playing in the yard and enjoying our first pot of chili...but we kept listening for the phone to ring, hoping that Hubby was calling to see how the day was going.

Tonight, after the sweeties were tucked in, I...

took out the recycling...yuck.

emptied the compost bucket...puke.

loaded the dishwasher...blah.

All things that Hubby usually does.  And with each check off the to-do list, I loved him a little more.

Its not what he does that makes me love him...its the fact that he's my partner in all this.  Without him, I would surely go insane on this parenting journey.  He's there to steady my world when it feels like everything could just come crumbling down at any second.

I am so fortunate to have him.  While I sit here and take time to be grateful for him, I'm feeling a little guilty about the little things.  The little things we sometimes argue about.  It seems like since the school year has started up, there have been more and more of those little things.  And when I have a chance to sit and think about them...remove myself from the situation, it seems almost comical.  The things we get frustrated about are just that...little things.

Anyway, although I am missing him, I must admit that there is something a little indulgent about having time to myself.  Although the house seems too big without him here, I'm taking advantage of this night to just do my own thing.  The quiet is nice...for tonight...I've been in First Peter a lot lately.  I don't know why, but I just keep re-reading it and finding new stuff each time.  Anyway, that's where I'm going next...to bed with my Bible and a fresh appreciation for the guy that is in this with me through thick and thin.  

1 Peter 3:8 says, "...live in harmony with one another..."

Tonight I'm vowing to let the little things go....

...to tell Hubby that I love him and to say it often...

...to take time to be thankful for all that he does and all that he is...

While I'm enjoying the stillness of the house tonight, I know that I couldn't do this every night.  

And while our romance looks a lot different today than it did 6 years ago, he's still the one....