On hope...

here goes....

we're nudging our oldest out of the nest on a prayer and hope

hope...

that all the hugs and "i love you"s and time outs and sleepless nights and potty training and shoe tying and tickle torture and "please look at him when he's talking to you" and 10 million buckles on car seats and stories and meals and vacations and snuggles and "if i have to come in here one more time"s and trips to the library and painting toenails and "vegetables are your friends" and "don't even think about it"s and prayers and chores and name writing and lap sitting and discipline and dancing and consequences and art projects and "you can do it"s and smiles and secret winks...

will all add up to enough

enough of a foundation to step bravely into the wild unknown and meet it with confidence

enough of the easy love and the tough love to treat others kindly

enough belief in herself and her Maker to rest in His peace when the challenges come

enough grace and generosity and wisdom to put a positive mark on the places she's going

enough oomph to not be lame, but enough sense to not be stupid

enough drops of joy to fill her bucket to overflowing

i'm not worried.

i'm not nervous.

i'm really, really jazzed.

she's gonna' rock it.

but there is that one little corner of my mind that i suppose will always be there...

each time she ventures on a new path.

that part that wonders if we've measured it out right...

...if we've dispensed just enough mercy and the perfect amount of grace

have our expectations been too high?  too low?

have we been too hard?

or worse?!  too easy?

did we laugh when we should have disciplined?

we should have had more dance parties....definitely....more dancing makes for better people, right?

except there's that bedtime thing....and, well, the responsibility piece.

ugh.

it IS a puzzle, isn't it?

i guess at the end of the day, all we can do is hope.

hope that our mistakes, many as they may have been, are sinking in the ocean of love we've poured out

but i guess it's not really so much about us and our job as parents

it's mostly about her

God planted her, we've diligently watered and pruned

now it is her turn to take the stage....and bloom.

on hope we're sending our very heart on a big yellow bus tomorrow.

on hope, trusting her to be the person we've prayed she would be.

on hope...letting go of control...watching her make beautiful mistakes and do amazing things.