icicle boogers

i formally take back every nice thing i ever said about winter

the sparkles and glitter have worn off

i just broke a frozen booger off my baby's nose.

the kids are not fighting like cats and dogs...they are fighting like tigers and rabid wolves.

i've wiped enough noses to go through two boxes of tissues...since  7 am.

i've read the same three books five thousand times.

i had a dream last night that when the littles weren't looking, i took one particularly beloved dvd, dropped it in the driveway and drove over it so many times that it was ground into powder

i'm sorry, but i just cannot feign enjoyment over one.more.cup. of pretend anything

the dog won't go more than 4 feet from the house to do his business, which has left a lovely arrangement of rock hard turds just inches from where i step to get the mail

the sun is shining her fool head off, but she's a LIAR because the thermometer tells the real story.

it was minus 9 when we went to school...2 hours late today.

my students are apathetic (so, in other words, normal)

and whining has reached record heights - so good are these children at it that we may just declare it worthy of becoming an olympic sport in this home.

my girls need some fresh air.
and a park.
for the love of pete, they are climbing everything!
as in, every single thing.
tables, beds, chairs, lamps....the middle console in our car.

two days ago our second-born asked for grass for her birthday
while the first-born reminisced about when she was "little and wore sandals"

speaking of sandals, don't even get me started on wardrobe.
i'm sure that come next october, i'll be all..."ooh, i can't wait to wear my cozy sweaters and jeans again, la te da"
but right now, i look in my closet and want to barf.
everything is brown, long-sleeved and ugly while my flip flops are smiling at me from their hibernation under the bed and i'm thinking i need them like i need air.

just today sweet peach's face looked out from behind the barren snack cupboard and asked why we don't have any crackers or peanuts.
sorry, angel.  dollars previously earmarked for snacks have now been reallocated to pay for heat.
i wish i was joking.

i can't even enjoy a good, old-fashioned eskimo kiss from my 2-year-old since it now comes with a mandatory side order of snot, thank you very much.

we're verging on insanity.

enter the hero of this story:  my friend, laura, who made me a HUGE batch of monster cookies yesterday

i'm not too proud to admit that in an attempt to keep the wheels on, i took the ziploc baggie from its home on top of the refrigerator (where they remain staunchly hidden from my children)
and locked myself in the bathroom.

don't worry...i was duly disciplined for my irresponsible behavior.  exactly 11 seconds into my cookie binge, i saw little fingers slipped under the door and quiet little voices coming from outside asking for dozens of idiotic things...like water.
my garbled, "just a minute" through mouthfuls of delicious peanut butter, m&m and oatmeal resulted in louder and louder requests which crescendoed into high-pitched shrieks, waking the baby.
i quickly ended my "alone" time by wiping my mouth on my sleeve and chugging a glass of water to cover any evidence of chocolate on my breath.
upon opening the door i found the dog had chewed a potholder and three polly pockets while the children had now stopped with their demands only to be found "boosting" each other to the kitchen sink to get fistfuls of h2o.
don't worry...there was hardly any mess to clean up.

the bottom line?
here's what winter in minnesota looks like when you've gone stark raving mad:

i guess if the flowers won't bloom outside, she'll resort to a garden in her hair.

Lord, forgive my grumbling.
i call as my witnesses previous blog posts as evidence that I did, indeed, enjoy the splendor of your creation which is winter.
however, the fam and i would be oh so grateful if you would quicken warm winds in our direction.

march is on the horizon....as in, 2 days away.

50 degrees and a torrent of melting snow flowing through our gutters is officially on my prayer list.
i rest my case.
the end.
amen.

the same 24 hours

i'm about to get riled up

if i hear the phrase, "i don't have time..."

one more time, i'm going to pop

i mean it

i might just punch something...or someone

my students use this LAME excuse almost every day

as if giving them 7 days and two class periods to put together a project wasn't enough

my children say it 

my co-workers say it

but the person i am most sickened by in regards to this phrase is me

it rolls around in my head all day long as i think about things like exercise, books i want to read, friends i want to call, things i want to make, rooms i'd like to paint....the list goes on

and then i get exhausted thinking about them and how i am so burdened by this house, these kids, this job...that i just can't do it all

here's what's true:

i'm busy

i have three kids

a job

a marriage

a home

but there's what's true and then there's the truth.

the truth is...i have the same 24 hours in the day as everyone else

the same 24 hours that Mozart had

the same 24 hours that Mother Teresa had

the same 24 hours that DaVinci had
the same 24 hours that Jesus had

i'm not saying that i have aspirations to write music or run an orphanage

but i do have aspirations to be a good friend, listen well, maintain a cozy home, cook good meals, teach my children to write old fashioned letters and enjoy a list of about 500 good books

the idea that i don't have time is a lie
and when i complain about it, whine about it and throw tantrums about how i can't get it all done...
well, all i'm really doing is proving that i'm a lot more like my 2 year old than i'd like to admit

i do have time

24 hours
every day

no more complaining

these girls are looking to ME as a model of how a woman navigates through the world

and acting like i'm suffering in the midst of blessing is a poor legacy to pass on

today i have 24 hours

tomorrow, too

i have FULLNESS in Christ

and i CAN get it all done

i have time for playing on the floor

and hide and seek

i have time for monster icicles

and dancing to FROZEN music at the breakfast table

i have time for snuggles

and climbing

and bills and laundry and friends and jogging and phone calls and healthy meals and running a marathon and changing the world and plenty of rest

i'm doing it.
i am.

nobody's gonna' stop me ;)

minne-snow-ta

today, we woke up to this...

and this...

and this...

and despite the collective groan heard 'round the state as the Lord added 8 more inches of powder to the mountains we already had, i was a happy girl

true, i'm so far behind with my students at school that it's likely i'll need an airplane to get caught up

true, i'm not looking forward to being in school until mid-June

true, i wish i could gain some momentum with this group of students

this start.stop, start.stop just isn't ideal for learning!

but beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right?

this fall i had a foreign exchange student from guatemala

on his first day in my class he told me he had never seen snow

never

as in...not ever

he asked me to describe it

hmmm.....i was stumped

how can something that we have such an abundance of...something i am utterly TOO familiar with...be so hard for me to describe?

but try describing a snowflake and you'll see...it's not easy

try describing how tiny, delicate glitter falling from heaven piles into mountains strong enough to stop traffic

try describing the sparkles that covered my backyard this morning

try to paint a picture of how it clothes the trees and rooftops

try describing how it gets caught in your eyelashes and makes your hair stick to your face

try finding words for how it tastes...how it feels...how it sounds in the midst of a blizzard

try to explain how sometimes it crumbles in your hands but other times it sticks so fast you can create forts and people and have fights while packing it into the shape of a ball

try to define the way the wind sculpts it into drifts that even the most accomplished artist couldn't and then suddenly vanishes into thin air when warm winds creep our way

you can't do it.  i promise.

a snowflake is a mystery.

and although i'm sure that in a few days when we're back to below zero temps, i'll be wishing i lived in guatemala....

today i am oh so grateful that my snowbabies know all about the sparkly magic of this place

if you're in the market for a cupcake, you can get one at her cafe for only seventy eight dollars ;)

i know i'm in a tiny minority right now...

but i'm going out on a limb and saying that despite treacherous roads and nasty forecasts, i'm happy that i get to be right here, right now in the middle of piles and piles of this mysterious stuff that not everyone in the world gets to enjoy.

happy snow day!

keepin' the romance alive

i came into the kitchen on friday morning to find this

after 8 years of marriage and 3 kids, he's still romancing this lucky girl

as if an x and an o in my toast weren't enough, j then pulled a most heroic stunt

because his students arrive at school almost an hour and a half after mine, he's the get ready guy in the mornings

i stick around just long enough to get their hair done and j gets to spend the mornings making and cleaning up breakfast, dressing our petunias and then hosting dance parties, reading stories and blasting FROZEN music to get the kids groovin' before heading off to day care

he has monumental task of getting all three of them IN their coats, hats, mittens and boots and buckling them into car seats

a few short blocks later, he gets anoher min-workout as he gets them OUT and delivered to bonnie's house

it might not sound like that big of a deal...if you've never bundled up a kid and gotten them in a carseat in subzero temps

but trust me...one of the reasons i love this guy is that i can trust him with such a giant task

back to valentine's day...i was going about my business at school, waiting for the kiddos to arrive when i came up from the office, greeted my advisees and saw j walking down the hall with all the kids and a box of donuts

peach held them out and said something she'd obviously been practicing, 

"donut you want to be my valentine?"

awwwww....go ahead and melt my heart why dontcha?

they also brought FROZEN pictures of Olaf that they had colored and written "you're worth melting for" on ;)

as i smothered them with hugs an kisses

tulip was quick to assert that she'd really love it if i didn't actually eat the donuts, but brought them home so she could eat them for dessert.

i was persuaded to go with this plan when she promised she'd eat all her supper, no matter what it was ;)

when we arrived home we had not one, not two but THREE awesome packages on our front steps.

according to the kids, it was an AMAZING mail day

grandma T

and auntie C

have picked up on the pirate love

and who doesn't love a random mustache straw?

we spent the rest of the night watching the olympics and playing crazy 8's

we're keepin' the romance alive in the wacek house...

but after all the chocolate that daddy brought home from his students,

i'm afraid these kids will never go to bed!

even sparkle got her fill of mini M&Ms

i know we could have gotten a babysitter and waited for hours to get into a restaurant

but i guess these days i'm more of a peanut butter and jelly toast, heart-shaped pizza and donuts for dessert kind of girl ;)

happy heart day

there has been an river of creativity flowing in our house lately

exhibit A:

i can take less than a little credit for these
peach is the one who asked me 289586293467893 times what we were making

and after i found this idea online, she then proceeded to ask me 6246846345346346690 times when we were doing it

in the chaos of raising three kids, i'm glad that she gives me that tug on the bottom of my shirt that reminds me its time to sit down and make something together

today's project:
valentine's with my valentine

i almost missed it

i almost crammed it in and let her stick and draw whatever she wanted while i scooped the dog's poop or brought the recycling to the garage.

but i forced myself to stop and enjoy it.

...or rather...enjoy HER

and i noticed a few things

she's a hard worker

she wanted those names to be just perfect and took her sweet time making every letter

she pays attention to detail

she likes to make sure the a's have a little tail on the end so they don't get mixed up with the o's

she's not afraid to admit mistakes, crumple them...and start over

she knows her friends

she chose each box of cereal carefully, noting the child's favorite color and what they like or dislike in order to determine the kind they got

"hannah likes cats...so i'll give her the one with the tiger"

"maya wears a rainbow coat and she draws pictures of rainbows at the art station at school so i want her to have fruit loops"

i was impressed with how well she knew these little people, but not surprised

she's a lover.

she's a good friend.

she's a listener.

she notices people.

we've prayed that she would be.

and God is faithful.

i sat there in awe of this little person who is so like me and so different

wondering what this one wild, wonderful life has in store for her

we gave her the middle name joy...

and i'm glad we did

it's like joy is attached to her

no matter where she goes, she can't escape it

it is part of her

a proclamation of who she is

every time someone says her name, she gets that blessing spoken over her life

pretty groovy if you ask me. :)

we finished up with some sweet treats for the day care littles
my mom and her cricut get credit for the spiffy little owls.
but i DID staple them on.
so i guess that my contribution wasn't quite zero
less than one...but not quite zero ;)

after the fun of valentines, i was all crafted out and headed to tackle the pile of dishes while little missy messy dug around in her craft box

she pulled out random paper, stickers, glue and ribbons and made something very....unique ;)

creating is like an itch that she just can't quite scratch

i love that about her

and a million other things

we'll be celebrating tomorrow with heart-shaped eggs for breakfast and a heart-shaped pizza for supper

nothing spells romance like pepperoni ;)

happy heart day.

i wasn't ready for this

i don't know how many times a day i think to myself, 

"i wasn't prepared for this..."

this mess

this lack of sleep

this never-growing-smaller mountain of laundry

this responsibility

this change

this exhaustion that i feel at the end of the day

this joy

this hurt

this sharing of every inch of my body, space and time

this laughter

this hard, hard work of being entirely in charge of another person's life

i thought it again the other day when i was standing in the kitchen having one of those awake dreams...the kind you have when you are so tired that you are looking at a task but not moving because you are watching yourself do something else....i promise, i'm not on drugs.
the baby was up most of the night.
teeth...who needs 'em??

anywhoos...it was right in the middle of that awake dream that this sweet tulip woke up from a 15 minute nap and called it good.

WHAT??!?!

i'm not ready for you to get up

i have supper to prepare

bills to pay

bathrooms to scrub

and all the blogs and facebook posts are telling me that I NEED TO TAKE SOME TIME FOR ME!!

you want to do what?
paint?!
i'm not really ready for huge sheets of paper and wet paint covering every square inch of my tiny kitchen

i look at the looming tower of dishes
panic is rising in my chest
tears are scorching the backs of my eyes

if you've never had a tribe of little people running around at half-height in your home, this all might sound a bit dramatic to you

but, i assure you, this scenario is common place in my home

and any mother out there will tell you that a 15 minute nap when you were counting on two hours will strike fear in your heart equal to a hungry bear crashing through your living room window.

it's at this point that
I realize:

my life is over.

OVER.

this is not MY life anymore

it's hers...and theirs...and ours

ultimately, it's HIS and He gave it to them...so my life?

my life is over.

there's something freeing about that realization

and instead of all the things i SHOULD be doing,

i GET to sit down and paint with a funny 2-year-old

a 2-year-old who is going to be a little bit bigger tomorrow than she is today.

i'm learning.

i'm letting go.

but i'm still thinking...

i wasn't ready for this.

i wasn't ready for any of it.

for a long time, i was single.

then i was married.
just like that.
one day.
one altar.
one decision.
one vow.
no matter what...forever.

i wasn't ready for it.

one day i lived in an apartment

the next day, after signing my name dozens of times, i owned a home.
and all the problems that go with it.

again...not ready.

one day i was a college student.

then i was a teacher.

just like that.
graduation.
application.
interview.
job.

and i wasn't ready for a classroom full of staring eyes and minds full of a million questions.

most of which i didn't know the answers to.

i had prepared, but i wasn't really ready.

one day life was all about me.

then i became a parent.

hello!

no book, no amount of time, no advice could have prepared me for walking into that wild, sacred unknown.

but you'll never do big things if you wait until you're ready, right?

dare i say that love is NOT the thing keeping this family together?

in a time and space where marriages are disposable

the thing that is keeping THIS family together is commitment.

that's the root.

love is an emotion - a beautiful one.

but when love walks out the door and anger, frustration and bewilderment (she just did WHAT??!) walk in

well...at those moments you're going to need something that tells emotion to take a hike

commitment is a decision.

we stick together.

when the house is a mess.

when we are fed up.

when we are tired and sick and ugly.

we are committed to making this work.

it's not the fairy tale i once thought it was going to be...

it's a little chaotic
and a lot messy.
but it's ours.

no giving up.

no throwing in the towel.

and when i think of who i WAS when i THOUGHT i was ready...

back when my body was more perfect

i had time to go shopping, pick out cute clothes, do my hair and make up and get all the rest i needed....well, i don't really admire that person nearly as much as the one that is looking at me in the mirror today.

maybe parenthood is the thing that turns us into the people we should have been all along.

silly saturday

i don't know what got into us....

but we woke up on saturday and one silly thing led to another

it started with chocolate crinkle cookies

which turned into mustaches

(thanks to FANCY NANCY for this idea)

but, of course, this one is just too feminine to sport a mustache...

she requested "lady lips" instead

we were dog-sitting for our friends and somehow their pooch ended up wearing a necklace??!?!

as the belly laughs wore off, the day turned into tea parties

and snuggly stories on the couch

i wish i had a better picture of peach's hair-do

that may have just been the funniest part of the whole day

these kids are a hoot

is it a problem that the week hasn't yet started and i'm already exhausted?

9 months

i feel like i haven't nearly done this little petunia justice with documenting her baby-hood

but i've come to terms with the fact that although she may have gotten the raw end of the deal as far as pictures go, i've more than made it up to her with the fact that i've got oodles more wisdom and patience now than i did the first time around.

at any rate, the winter olympics have inspired me to get out my scrapbooks and while working on hers i decided that i really do need to make an effort to get at least a few pictures each month.

so here goes....i may have missed the milestones for months 1-8, but as far as month 9 goes, this is what my sparkly little gem is up to:

sitting...she was a bit of a late bloomer on this one as she just started, but now that she's got it figured out, she's happy as a flower in sunshine to sit and dig through buckets and bins of whatever random toys i can find.

this is super-convenient when i'm trying to get my make up on or hair done - just throw together an ice cream pail full of toiletries and she's set for a good 7 minutes...which is really all i need these days :)

she's been crawling for a month now - glad that she waited until my christmas tree was down to really get going!

not much of a fan of being up on her knees

she prefers to get around army style :)

 the other girls didn't get into books until they were much older

but this lil' peanut loves to snuggle while i read

she'll tolerate other books, but often starts squaking and beating them until i pull out this one...

it's her fave.

and she'll sit quietly and listen to me read it over and over and over again

she's also got two bottom teeth (which showed up a couple months ago) but do you think miss stinkster-boo would let me get in there for a pic?

sorry, maybe another day

quite possibly the most amazing part of adding this one to our world has been watching the relationship between these two

peach was just a tiny thing when tulip came along...and although i know they bonded right from the start, she was too little to help or care for her first sister.

but her second?

oh my....

she holds her, feeds her, helps get her dressed, reads to her, looks out for her and tells me all the time how glad she is that we have a baby in our house.

9 months gone by just.like.that

love you, sparkle girl.